As I’ve mentioned a few times before, I am in the process of writing a novel that I hope to self-publish by this summer. It’s a story that is very near and dear to my heart for many reasons. Those that know me will almost immediately make the connection, but those of you who don’t will see it as just another novel to read. That’s why this post is what it is.
I started my novel around five years ago when one of the most devastating times of my life happened. It was a bit of an outlet for my silent pain. Ok, it was my only outlet for that pain. (It’s also why self-care is so important to me.)
My oldest daughter lost her biological father five years ago this past September. We were married but going through a divorce for numerous reasons. All in all, it wasn’t a healthy relationship. This is where my novel starts. My pain and disbelief is all rolled into the first three chapters. (Chapter one is a post of its own if you want to go back and read it.)
The only part that rings with any truth is the emotion. The characters aren’t real, they aren’t based on real people, all except for Natalie and Ryann. Those two are based on my daughter and myself. Which is why I think this is the hardest story for me to write. I am keeping my reality out of it while still pouring some of myself into it.
The chapters after signify our new beginning and shows the strength it takes to bring yourself back up from the wreckage. I’m not saying my story is the worst it could have been. I’m sure there are many who have had it way worse. But my novel IS my therapy. It’s a slow moving process, but I want it to be just right.
Slow and steady is the title of this post for a few reasons. One is because it’s taking so long for me to get it all onto paper. Two, I’m a bit of a perfectionist. Three, I’m still holding it close to my chest. My husband has seen only the first three chapters. I’ve only made chapter one public. I have yet to talk to my close friends and family about it. Not because I’m afraid of what they will say, but because I’m afraid of how they will view me after it’s all said and done. Will they like it? Will they even read it?
I’m still growing as a writer. I don’t think that ever ends. I have big dreams and I intend to reach them all. But I’ll only get there by being slow and steady…